Take A Rest, Have A Break...

Scientist new research: Spider uses their legs to hear.

Why?

Scientist: When I put a spider on the table and I shout at it to run, it runs;

But when I pull off its legs and I shout at it to run, it does not move.

The importance of English.

How?

A new Chinese scholar has came to Canada to study. One day, when he is riding his motorcycle outside the hostel, he accidentally falls into a deep pit. A patrolling policeman passes by the pit and notices the scholar.

Policeman: How are you?

Scholar: I'm fine. Thank you.

The policeman goes off, and the scholar dies due to profuse bleeding.

Two men.

God has decided to give the most handsome guy and the most ugliest guy in the world a wish each.

Handsome guy: I want the most beautiful woman to be with me forever.

And his wish is fulfilled.

God asks the ugliest guy: What about you?

Ugly guy: I never think of changing myself before. This is my fate.

God: How sincere you are! But I will still fulfill a wish for you.

Ugly guy: Fine! I want myself to be the only man in this world.

When I enter a company...

Boss: Welcome, without you our company will be much different.

Me: If the work is too tiresome I will resign myself.

Boss: Relax, I will not let it happens.

Me: Can I take a leave every Tuesday?

Boss: Obviously, this is the baseline.

Me: Will there be overtime usually?

Boss: Impossible, who tells you that!?

Me: Is there any subsidy for lunch?

Boss: Sure, you will have the higher one.

Me: Is there the risk of dying because of heart attack?

Boss: Never, you should not have such thinking.

Me: Will there be any tour every month?

Boss: This is our company's order.

Me: Do I have to come to work punctually?

Boss: Nope, depend on the situation.

Me: What about salary? Is it distributed on time?

Boss: It is always like that.

Me: Are all the works done by new employees?

Boss: It will not be possible, you still have bosses with higher ranks.

Me: If there is any vacancy of post, can I participate in the competition?

Boss: Without any doubt, our company relies on this to continue operating.

Me: Are you deceiving me?

After I enter the company...(Please read from bottom to above)